Behind The Song "Judge"

The song “Judge” is about being in a really dark place and finally asking for help, finally willing to take down the walls and try something different. I was always so against being honest about my substance use because I feared other people would judge me and not accept me. I feared they wouldn’t understand the difficulties that come with the issues I was dealing with. At this point in my life I had a really bad relapse, I was feeling all the lows of my depression and I was constantly anxious, wanting to get out of my own skin. I had to really seek help for the first time around that time for help with substances, I was constantly trying to avoid and numb the way I felt. I wanted to retreat, I needed to find a power greater than myself to believe in. I had reached out to different support systems to get help and I was able to get myself back on my feet mentally, physically, and emotionally. With the struggle and process of grieving the loss of a parent I was trying to justify my pain and expect others around me that cared to let me make decisions that didn’t help me. I couldn’t think about what other people were going through or be present in others’ lives the way I wanted to. I had to dive into the process and try something new. I had to start taking care of my spirit and worry less about others. I had to let go and let my higher power do the work. As much as I still try to control things, I am able to be open and honest about where I am at. I currently do not work a program and my recovery looks a little bit different than others. However I am living a healthier lifestyle and have separated myself from people, places, and things that will bring me to my downfall. I still use cannabis socially and that’s pretty much all I engage in at the most. However there were substances that I had used in the past that set me down paths that were hard to get off of. This song is to remind anyone that is on a hard path with drugs that there is another way to deal with you’re use. There’s different avenues to get sober, and that sobriety looks different for everyone. I also strongly admit that asking for help and letting people know where you are at matters and makes the battle easier. Dealing with addiction is not something you ever have to do alone!